Do not attempt to adjust your television set...

Welp, due to various technical gewgaws I failed to iron out at some earlier point in the previous year, my video-based reviews will be on an indefinite hiatus. Apparently somebody beat the living hell out of my microphone, and none of the computers in our house have a Firewire port.

The first problem will have to wait, but I managed to snatch up a firewire card for cheap on Tigerdirect.ca This much pleases me, and I should be able to start editing footage from my camera (A Samsung SC-D372 for those who care) in the very near future.

I may put up some 'Let's Play' videos or something in the meantime, just to get into the habit of regularly reviewing material and producing, editing, and uploading video. Don't expect them to be stellar though; even I have my doubts as to how good they'll be.

First up will probably be 'Realms of the Haunting'; it's old enough I'm pretty sure there aren't that many Let's Play's of it... I can recall one off the top of my head on YouTube that was pretty good, but not very funny or entertaining in my opinion.

Friday Night Feature: Red Dog

Okay, the tradition in my household is that every Friday night, my family (my mother, my step-father, and my sister if she's home from college) and I make home-made pizza together and sit down to a movie.

My step-father is every bit the film buff I am not; there are literally crates upon crates of VHS cassettes, DVDs, and Laserdiscs (remember those? They were DVDs before DVDs became viable!) of films I have never seen or even heard of.

Anyways, today's feature was mentioned by my step-dad and voted on by my mother, outvoting my suggestion 2:1; a movie called 'Red Dog'. Never heard of it? Then odds are, you're not Australian, like my step-father. (Yeah, he married my mother and moved from Australia to Canada... he's probably as crazy as I am)

Red Dog (aka Tally Ho, aka The Dog of the Northwest, aka The Pilbara Wanderer, et cetera) is a legend in Australia, particularly in the Pilbara region of the Northern Australia province, and is associated with the Hamersley Iron company and the mining town of Dampier. The movie would probably be emblazoned with those famous words 'Based on a True Story!' if not for the fact that, well... nobody's actually that sure how much of Red Dog's story is true. There are some events that can be verified, and that is what the majority of this film is about.

Spoilers Beyond The Jump

You've just crossed over into a land of shadow and substance...

Well, here I am. Another year started, and not much to show for it. None of you out there know who I am, and even less of you care, I'm sure. You can call me Mistah FixIt; it's the name I've adopted on the internet for most of the time I've spent here, and I have spent a lot of time here. Like Rod Serling, I'm always watching, but rarely participating; rarely intervening.

That stops now. I've stepped out of the shadows and into the limelight, to share my bitching and moaning about the things that make me angry, and the things that make me scratch my head in confusion. I could say 'I'm not looking for attention', but that wouldn't be entirely true; I enjoy sharing what I know and how I feel with others, even if they don't give a shit about either. I've seen people on the internet turn sites like YouTube and Blip.tv into online television stations, hosting critical analysis shows and round-table discussions on stuff that -- let's face it -- doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Does anyone really care about the scientific accuracy of C.S.I. - Crime Scene Investigation? Does anyone remember Gremlin Interactive, beyond the shitty sports games they produced for Super Nintendo and the Playstation? Does anyone still watch television with any kind of a critical eye, rather than just giving themselves something to shut their brains off to?

The answer to all of these questions, as I'm sure you've already figured out is 'yes'; there's me. Sure, there are other critics out there that review tv shows, but they mostly seem to attach themselves to long-running series (Doctor Who) or obscure material that few have ever heard of. (The Bonekickers)  I'm not gonna be one of those guys. I aim to make TV my Territory; old and new, popular and obscure. Nothing is safe and everyone's a fair target for my biting commentary. And, because you play them on a television (or at least used to) video games will occasionally fall under the umbrella of my 'fair game' material. Hey, it's my show and I'll attack anything or anyone I like. I'm gonna share my opinions with the entire Internet, whether they want to hear it or not.

Now naturally, the older, more obscure, or just plain bad something is, the funnier my reaction to it will inevitably be, and therefore, the funnier my reviews will end up being. But just cuz bad material is easy doesn't mean that good stuff is off-limits too; if anything, if I rail something especially hard, its probably because I either openly (or secretly) love it.

So kick back on the sofa or your favorite chair, as we launch the latest iteration in an ongoing internet culture phenomena: 'Media Mechanics'.